It was January 2020 and I was sitting at the Beer Park over looking the strip in Las Vegas. I was solo, sipping a local beer at the end of a successful week long business trip. I had about two hours before the limo was going to take me to the airport. I had my phone pulled out and my notes were on my screen and I had begun to set some goals for the year. I started to list them in separate columns, came across them on my hike this morning. Professionally, I had several trips I had planned, some big projects in the pipeline and I was going to advance in my career. Personally I was going to attend concerts, visit breweries, take my kids on vacations and to sporting events, hang with whomever wanted to hang with me. Basically I wasn't going to put anymore pressure on myself other than to enjoy life and have fun.
During that week there was talk about sickness and possible pandemic. My colleague Rob and I were super careful with hand sanitizer and avoiding shaking hands when we could. But nothing out of the ordinary for us as him and I were always germaphobes especially in Vegas, the petri dish. Kobe Bryant had just passed away so that was the tragedy most talked about. Looking back I was finally in a good place and excited about the year. We had absolutely no idea what was in store for us.
February and March hit like a heart attack. Things that I finally accepted on a personal level did a full circle change and put me back to square one. This wasn't even full-blown pandemic yet or at least not what I was aware of. My kids schools closed down and little did I know they were about to be on a four month vacation before summer even started. I had a friend in Texas ask me if I had stocked up on groceries and supplies and I remember thinking they were crazy. It then got real pretty fast and like everyone else it felt like we were living in hell. All of a sudden and I don't remember the exact date life as we knew it no longer existed. The rug was pulled out from all of us, masks and social distance were all we focused on and everything was cancelled.
That's the thing I want to remind anyone reading my blog, this is my perspective on the year of 2020. I am not an essential worker, I am not in health care, I am not a teacher or school administrator. I am in Marketing and Events and have worked remote for a good chunk of my life and probably the last person in line for the vaccine. I wasn't forced to go anywhere or put myself or my kids at risk. My kids are at ages that they can handle remote schooling on their own as I have said in the past posts and be successful at it. I was one of the lucky ones but man it didn't feel like that. My norm was moving at mock speed working full-time, traveling for work, raising two children as a single Mom, taking care of 3 dogs, running from sporting event to figuring out what to make for meals with very little sleep and that went to a halting stop. The extra time at first was a blessing then I seriously started to go crazy. I did not know how to live life stuck safely in my house. While a lot of people I knew were binge watching movies and shows I was doing hundreds of house projects and exercising 3 times a day.
We were not just in the middle of a pandemic but a horrific political battle that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with and still don't. People bashing and judging each other like nothing I have ever seen. Losing friendships and family members over difference of opinion and ignorance. Attacks on teachers, administration and local town officials. People I am friends with and respect. Self serving was drowning us. All while thousands of people were and are dying not just directly from Covid but in the end probably because of Covid. Obituary after obituary and most couldn't even have a proper good-bye. I like everyone was sad and hating life. But why?
Sometime in December someone said they couldn't wait until 2020 would end. My daughter looked at me and said Mom this has just begun, this is how we need to live here on out. My son said to me in a car ride isn't it crazy that we ever complained about things before 2020 Mom? Just more words of wisdom from kids to their Mom. This is why I needed to wait an entire month into 2021 before I could really reflect on what the year meant to me.
I don't have shit figured out or any solutions to any of this. I don't know if there is a light at the end of the tunnel. However, if we are taking our lives in chapters like I do mine here are 13 things I learned in my 2020 chapter, 365 days plus a month to boot later.
I love to sit down at the table and eat dinner with my kids. I like to hear about their days, good and bad. I like them to tell me stories about their teachers or their friends. I love to hear them laugh and be proud of our home. Mainly I like to talk to my kids when I actually can focus on them and not feel rushed.
The unthinkable can happen and nobody can stop it. Your whole life can change within minutes. With that said kindness and compassion are true life skills that we must teach.
Not everyone in your life is here to stay, not even the people you think you can't live without. In times of crisis you may not even be a thought in their head. Learn to accept that or you will be crushed. In the end the people that truly love you will reach out.
Mental health is extremely delicate.
Talk with, be friends with, laugh with whomever makes you feel happy inside. Tell people how you feel about them even if you don't quite understand it. Tomorrow isn't promised and you will regret shit if you don't.
Shrink your circle. You don't need as many people as you think. Learn to tell the difference between people that have good intentions and people that don't. Keep the loyal one's they are gold.
You can't always be the strong one, everyone has a breaking point.
Dogs and long hikes in the woods are just as good as a therapist on most days.
NEVER take for granted holidays with family, parties with friends or feeling safe at the grocery store.
I never knew this about myself but I actually do enjoy an occasional hug, it's ok to cry in front of random people at any given moment and my kids are smarter and wiser than I am.
If you don't exercise at least an hour a day you are crazy.
You are never too busy to reach out to a person, listen to a person or help a person.
If you are reading this...I am rooting for you.
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