What I love the most about blogging is hearing from readers and all their different emotions. Whether it be laughing, crying, anger, support, inspiration or just getting a reader to think, that is my ultimate goal. There is always someone going through some life shit publicly or privately that who knows maybe whatever I am blurting out here is helping them.
I am able to now share my true thoughts in this forum thanks to my therapist pictured here. I used to go to "real" therapy (whatever that is) during marriage and after marriage. I don't recall it ever helping though. Don't get me wrong I have heard success stories from therapy but I just wasn't one of them. Most of that is probably on me however because I was not ready to accept that my life was headed down a path I didn't choose. So once I realized where I needed to be I combined many miles of running, long walks and conversations with people that truly cared. I have a new bonus feature where I taught myself not to react to shitty situations and before responding to anything unpleasant I process all my thoughts. Sometimes I just take a second and write them down, you would be surprised how effective that can be. Or you can do my other method which I will also describe. A few months ago I was faced with a situation that I had no idea how to handle. I wasn't able to make much sense so I immediately put my running shoes on and ran 10 miles. It's really not normal to just run 10 miles unless you are training for something unless you are me. However, it's not the first time I have done this or the last. I run until I have sorted all the outcomes out in my head and when I have made some sense I run home. My friends call me nuts, but I think it's genius.
My point of all of this is I was sitting at my son's basketball game over the weekend and my daughter's basketball game last night taking in my surroundings. Every now and again I am reminded of the main and probably most heart breaking thing I have learned last year which is most people do not truly care about anything you may be experiencing...now, then or most likely ever. Even the people you hoped would recognize just simply don't. Sadly it can be family members not just friends. Even the craziest situations, ridiculous outbursts most heads just turn the other way. Rather than wondering how that happens I have learned to just have acceptance for these type of people. I choose to live differently because I can. Would I still be there for any one of them if they needed me for anything...yup I probably would. Some call that a flaw but I call it loyalty even if it's only one way. For a long time I tried to wish the hate away but unfortunately that doesn't work either. What does work is deciding and choosing who to spend your quality memories with. Sometimes it just takes time and you would never have guessed who those people would be in a million years. I am certainly not perfect by any means but these are the solid things I have learned the hard way.
There is a saying I keep on my phone that says "Good people are not trained, they are found. If you are training too much, you may not have the right people." Say that one again!
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