This is simply how I am feeling about raising a 12 and 14 year-old in 2020. I always feel like I need to thank the health care workers, school teachers, school administration and anyone on the front lines of this pandemic before I say anything about anything.
My kids go to Monson Public Schools and they have barely been in school this entire year due to the obvious. We are currently fully remote until the end of this dreadful year. I am lucky to have two honor role students so I am not complaining by any means. When my daughter grows up she wants to be a Judge so needless to say I barely even check on that child. She gets upset when she gets a 95 on a test, not sure where she came from. Since remote learning began she sets her alarm, does her morning routine and is ready to roll when school starts at 7:30. My son is also super smart and an honor role student but he isn't quite as regiment as his sister. Getting him up in the morning is a challenge as he is not a morning person what-so-ever. He sets his own alarm but being in his cozy warm bed verse sitting at his desk starting the day with Math...well what would you choose?! I get up super early so I am fully awake when these kids are ready to start school. I try to start each day positive, being nice and speaking in a friendly voice. However, it usually ends in you have 5 minutes to get up, turn your light on and get on your computer before I throw your XBOX and phone in the Squires parking lot for the fork lift trucks to drive over. Then I feel instant guilt because none of this is their fault nor mine, well maybe not instant! This new way of remote school from your cozy bedroom is far from easy. I also think about their teachers and how tough this is on them. I give the speech that they need to at least respect their teachers enough to sit up and pay attention. We have fallen into bad habits not having breakfast like normal because lunch is so early so it's a fight to get them to eat a granola bar or have a piece of toast half the time. It's always "Mom can you go to Dunks", my lord I think I am financing the DD here. So you know what I do, I go and they text me their orders. I go because they are so much nicer to me when they eat meals and are not hangry. Not to mention you can't learn on an empty stomach. I have two good students getting good grades I should be grateful as I know so many are struggling but I always have an un-easy feeling now and here is why.
My real concern about my New England remote kids especially now that winter is here and it's fricken cold out is depression. Locked up in this house, no friends, no sports, no socialization depression. My kids do their school work in their bedrooms at their desk. We are all on our computers and they are able to shut their doors and have their own space. However, when 2:00 hits and their school day is over and they finish homework then what? When this all began they had an hour of chores every day and an hour of exercise. I even had a fun chart on the wall for all of us to follow but that ship sailed quick. I still try and enforce that but unlike me they don't want to bundle up and go outside or do anything extra lately. So I try to get them to do indoor work-outs or anything to get them out of their rooms. We went from a work/school life with sports, several activities that we barely had time to have dinner to this new slowed down life. Part of the issue is I don't do well myself being stuck inside or staying in a certain area for a long period of time so I also struggle. I am constantly on them to do things outside of their rooms. It's not like there are neighborhood kids playing outside because everyone is Covid afraid and well it's not like it used to be when I was growing up. They have become loners and addicted to being in their rooms with very little socialization. Whether they are playing video games, watching tv or playing on their phones they want to be alone in their rooms every single day. They do interact with their friends this way but it still feels so unhealthy to me. But again the media and everyone around has created us living in fear so I guess I can't blame them for wanting to live like this. On the flip side parents need to work and get adult shit done so what in the world do we do with these kids right now? Not sure about everyone else but I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what the heck is next.
When I wake up and after I process all the messed up things that went on in my head during the night I say to myself hmmm what kind of shit can I make up for these kids to do today? How am I going to get them out of their rooms or better yet out of this house today? I don't really want them even running errands with me due to the spread of this right now. I swear we have done 1000 projects inside and outside of this house this year. It was so much easier when the weather was warmer because we worked on lots of things outdoors together. With winter here this has become so much harder. I do find something for us to do at night even if it's driving around looking at Christmas lights. Last night I made them come outside to take a selfie in front of our tree that is lit up because why not and it was 20 minutes of together time. We have a close friend that heads up adopting children less fortunate and buying them Christmas gifts so we adopted a ten year old boy. That was one of the best ideas thus far to keep them busy shopping and ordering things that were not for them. They were actually arguing over what they thought this little boy would like better when we don't even know him. Not sure how other Moms and Dads feel but I swear it feels like there are 40 hours in a day now verse 24.
I wish I had the ability to touch base with each remote learning kid in our High-School daily. Inspiring them to give themselves an hour a day to at least exercise, phone free. I realize not every parent has the ability to work remote or be home with their children to monitor this but we really need to be concerned about the mental health and long-term effects of this new norm. Our kids need us to be present in their daily routines now more than ever. To all the new parents, seasoned parents or crazy ass single woman like myself just know we are in this together. Check on each other, offer support and an ear to listen when things are tough. Don't be hard on teachers or administration for their decisions because they are also losing sleep with all this. We also need to take time for ourselves. We are only human and our mental health matters too, lord knows this is another addition to our every day stresses pre-Pandemic. Please whatever you do don't judge either, judgement is the cruelest of cruel especially in the times we are living. What works for someone's family may never work for yours and nobody knows what is going on behind their closed doors. Never in my wildest dreams and my dreams are pretty wild did I think I was going to be raising my teenagers like this. It's not easy on any of us and life is already so hard. I hope this generation bounces back from all of this and all they have lost out on.
I always find hope in music so my random blog thought is do the world a favor and make sure your teens know the lyrics to the The Gambler. We play it often here and it's a good stress reliever to sing to the top of your lungs maybe dance a little at any random moment! Stress relief for all of us is super important especially now. Good luck to all of us.
"You cannot raise your children as your parents raised you, because your parents raised you for a world that no longer exists."
Comments