So I figured I would bite on this whole 10 year challenge thing I have seen on social media. As I searched through several pictures from 2009 I noticed many interesting things. There were very few pictures of me and the one's I did find I was hiding behind something or someone.
I was a brand new Mother with two children just 21 months apart. At that time I gave up a Marketing career so I could stay home and raise my kids. I got licensed to have a home daycare so I was bringing income in and pulling my weight. I don't care what you do for a living if you are a daycare provider you work your ass off. Your job is to keep a bunch of little humans alive for 10 hours a day. This was six crazy hard years until Shane finally ventured off to first grade. During that time I didn't do much for myself at all. I took care of my kids, our house and my business. I wasn't exercising and certainly wasn't doing anything with my hair, yikes! I worried often, was embarrassed often, became the master of hiding and took a lot of shit I am not proud of. But that is where I thought I was supposed to be. It was my job to sacrifice everything for my family but even that wasn't good enough. While it's wonderful to sacrifice for your family, if your also sacrificing yourself is that really worth it? I completely changed my own beliefs, missed out on special memories and headed down one scary road. I was constantly judging people and frankly didn't like myself at all. I know I was making memories with my kids but I don't remember truly having fun. A lot of women like myself go wrong here.
But here is the exciting part about all of this. It's never too late to change or pull yourself out of a toxic situation. Thanks to the inspiration from my brother I ran my first Boston marathon, something I thought I wasn't capable of doing. I invested in myself and took time to train. I found my dream job working remote, traveling and earning a living while still home for my kids. I will always put my kids first but now I put myself first, something I forgot to do for many years. I got a divorce, bought my own house and started from scratch. Nobody can do this for you and it's scary as all fucks. I have taught myself to do just about anything on my own. I leaned on family, friends and YouTube to teach me the things I had zero clue about. How many women do you know who can bleed air out of the oil line because they forgot to order an oil delivery before traveling? Thanks to my friend Chris...I now do!
So 10 years later I am now a blogger LOL. The only thing in these two pictures that are of similarity is blue is still my favorite color. I have had more fun in the past two years than I have had my entire life. I surround myself with good people and do whatever the heck I want. I sing, dance and force my music on anyone that lets me. My kids are shaping up to be two really good humans that respect me for me. My Dad tells me I have finally returned and my smile is real and for that I am lucky.
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